Christie Marie Sheldon is an energy intuitive that focuses on abundance and abundance blocks. This week I used one of her meditations I found on YouTube that helps you get to the root cause of how you feel about money and abundance and where and when those roots were planted.
As Christie Marie guides you through a meditation, she takes you back to your first impressions about money, and what feelings your parents had about it. My blocks were pretty interesting. I felt my mother was frugal with money, things were tight; but she made it a game. If it didn't fit in the budget she would simple say "oh, we don't need that." She liked to see how far she could stretch her dollar and she still is like this, so it wasn’t too much of a surprise to me. I did find it curious though that I stored this energy in my throat.
Next we went on to my father’s feelings. In a mediation I had done at a different time, I discovered that when I came along, dad was scared about not having enough money for me. I later confirmed that with my brother. This time I was sort of expecting to feel that. Instead what I felt was that dad’s feelings were that the only way to get money was to ‘lie, cheat, and steal’. (While he was growing up his family was always moving out in the middle of the night to avoid being evicted.) He did a real estate during my youth - also known as a ‘real esnake’.
So, we have mom always saying “oh, you don’t need that” (which is admittedly better than ‘we can’t afford that’) however it played out in my life as “Oh I don’t need what I want.” Then you pair that with dad and my abundance root is labeled: ‘There’s not enough money for me to get what I want.’ Add to that low self-esteem, guilt, and shame making the feeling of my abundance block: “I’m a bad person and don’t deserve what I want.”
What’s been remarkable about MK is that I’ve become more of the observer of myself and I am able to see all of these blocks and I’m having fun realizing them and working on smashing them.
I have been working on my ‘Zen Office’ since we starting MK, but had intentions to work on it for many months before that. I was proud of myself for even designating a room for myself and filling it with all the things that are me. But like “me” I keep burying it under a bunch of junk and keep saying “I’ll get to it later.” Last week (read Week 19 blog) I encouraged hubby to hang his posters and create his office filled with all the things that are him. We did those pictures for a couple hundred bucks, and that started him on pictures for the other wall which was another hundred. Then I innocently mentioned a faux guitar that I saw at Hobby Lobby for $35 bucks, which I thought was waaaay too expensive for a tin guitar but he used to play back in the day at the Whisky-Ago-Go in LA, so I thought it would have been an homage and cute accent piece. Well, Mr. No Blocks is now bidding on a $400 guitar on ebay while I’m doing my best MacGyver impersonation making furniture out of old rubber bands, used socks, and toilet paper tubes wondering why I’m not getting the tranquil spa feeling I’m searching for! LOL (And for the record, he has always, always, encouraged and pushed me to get what I want so it’s not about that at all – what it’s about is me not feeling like I deserve what I want.) This is fun, now I can see how blocked I’ve been and how I got there. And I see him so excited about something so we’ve opened one of his blocks as well!
How exciting and fascinating to see my DMP coming to fruition and my walls dissolving! We’ve had always talked about moving to Scotland, which is on my DMP, and now we’ve decided that we are going to move in 2 years. With 2 people working towards the same goal, I know we’ll be there in no time! So besides my current job being nowhere near what I want to be doing; at least I can feel the tide changing, my icebergs are moving in the right direction, and my abundance blocks are dissipating.
Here is the link to Christie Marie Sheldon’s meditation if you are interested in learning more about your abundance blocks.