We went over to my brother’s house to carve pumpkins and after the kids went to bed and many beers were had; my wonderful big brother (who doesn’t know I’m doing this course) gets deep and inspiring and tells me that “I am worth $55,000 a year and I should “Go for it” and become a top executive assistant who works for a $6 million dollar entrepreneur who gets to play and it’s my job to make sure the work gets done and call my boss when it’s time for him to take the credit.” He goes on to say I “don’t need to reinvent the wheel; this is what my résumé says I’m good at.” He says “there’s no point to start something new now, I should just stick to what I’m good at.” He was being totally sincere and loving, encouraging and hopeful for me “Go! You can do it! You’re totally worth it!”
“$55,000 dollars a year as an executive assistant, that’s what my résumé says I’m good for…..” Bummer!
As I’m completing my service for the week, which is to consolidate some storage tubs as part of finishing my Zen room, I opened up some dusty, dingy boxes to find my dreams, hopes, and goals of the past 20 years. Here’s my first business plan I got so I could be like 'Amazon’ for lotions, candles and bath products. This was when Amazon only sold books. I was trying to find drop shippers and set up a website when dial-up internet was still in its infancy. No one knew what I was talking about. No one supported me. My next idea, since I loved gourmet coffee and had been drinking Postum from the time I was 7, there was this up and coming company called Starbucks I thought we should invest in. I tried to convince everyone I knew that this would be a great opportunity but no one believed me, and they said no one would go to a place like that or spend that much on coffee. Right.
As I’m digging deeper into the boxes, here’s my Franklin Covey organizer with lists of daily chores and highly successful people’s habits dated 2001.
Crap- How many times have I done all this before? How am I going to make this time change my résumé from a $55,000 executive assistant to THE $6 MILLION DOLLAR ENTREPRENUER?
What I felt I was missing back in those days (and yes, up ‘til now too) was support. I needed people to believe in me and help me get my ideas off the ground. But really, that’s just a fancy way of saying I lacked confidence and I didn’t believe in me. Support is exterior/without and confidence is interior/within; because if you have confidence in yourself you don’t “need” exterior support. I even recently had a conversation with my husband telling him ‘I can get the 90% part, but I need his help to get to 100%.” Being the wonderfully loving and supportive husband he replied “whatever you need babe.”
Well, what I need is to grow a pair!
These are my dreams, my wishes, and my goals and no one else knows what I am thinking or feeling. My brother has no clue that I have boxes and boxes full of business plans and organizational charts for my own businesses because they are all collecting dust in boxes in the garage – how could he know? My husband loves me just as I am, (I am so lucky to have a husband like him), and he just wants me to be happy.
I feel like the $6 million dollar entrepreneur trapped inside an insecure $55,000 executive assistant. I always thought I would get confident when I got the business started, but then I couldn’t start the business because I was too scared. I feel caught in a Catch22 tailspin.
Google “confidence” and this is what comes up:
“Confidence can be a self-fulfilling prophecy as those without it may fail or not try because they lack it and those with it may succeed because they have it rather than because of an innate ability.”
Dang! Wow! “Self-fulfilling prophecy”!
So this time my focus needs to be on getting Confidence. How do I make sure that I will develop and grow the confidence I need to obtain my goals? How do I attain it from within? (Hey, that’s kind of what Og says, isn’t it?)
I have to accept the hero’s journey. I have to know that I have everything I need inside of me already. I have to realize that I am my own support. (Yes, it is wonderful to have other people’s support, but have you noticed that usually they believe in you after you’ve already achieved something?) I am also excited because MKMMA is 6 months long, it’s deep and intensive, and they keep you on task. It is definitely different that anything I’ve done before. More importantly, I am different than I was before.
I promise to allow the fullness of my confidence to shine out from within me so bright it lights up my path to fulfilling my dharma.
I promise to break free and be the $6 million dollar entrepreneur.
I promise to focus on being confident, feeling confident, and honoring my self-fulfilling prophecy and succeed in life.
TODAY I AM A NEW MAN WITH A NEW LIFE!
I always keep my promises.